Gee I’d sure like to have world peace
Or a bottomless bucket of chicken thighs,
But failing that, I suppose I would be willing to settle
To decide who lives and who dies.
It is not my intent this post to abuse.
In fact, I think you will all be thrilled
After a mere 24 hours of seeing
Whom I let live and whom I have killed.
I’m a deeply principled person
And will gravely prosecute this chore,
Because it’s no laughing matter:
Deciding who shouldn't be alive anymore.
To the smallest, most delicate things,
I would grant clemency,
Or at least I would grant as much clemency
As one could grant plausibly.
And before you even ask, yes,
I’m completely sprung on this.
There is no greater aphrodisiac
Than consigning the damned to the abyss.
When you’re the one who calls the shots,
You aren’t bound by normal moralities.
And might I remind you
My first choice was world peace.
-- Alex Kies is a writer from the Twin Cities who doubled up and lives in the Quad Cities. He's very nice if you give him a chance, left-handed, and an Eagle Scout. His work has appeared in everything from Filth Magazine to Highlights for Kids. He hopes one day to supplant Derek Chauvin as Metropolitan State University's most notable alumnus, because General Alfred Gruenther, Supreme Allied Commander, Europe/Commander in Chief, U.S. European Command (SACEUR/USCINCEUR) has his high school pretty much locked up.