Making the face of fear.
Dark Thought rode into
Town on a dark cloud. It was a
Humid night and the
Moon was crescent. His
Sever was sharp. He carried it
sidearm by the sushi restaurants in the
Strip malls and the bus stop
Cages and the butterfly murals.
He was somewhere in the Gamer Belt.
Dark Thought made minds. He
Shows a bad girl how it’s done. When
He uses his Sever there is never
Any blood. It’s too quick for that.
You could still use your hand after
It was cut off.
There was something in the
Suburbs. There was something
Moving around, quivering,
Agitating its wings for flight.
There were people in their
Houses smelling hot mud out their
Windows. For example.
Agent Sapphire sat
in his La-Z-Boy, fear
wrapped around his throat. He
Turned the cable off and
looked into the white wall.
The president was on TV and he was
Making big sounds. The
President was talking about
His dreams.
Dark Thought didn’t give a
Fuck about American whining.
Dark Thought was sewn
Together from different parts
That they found. He was drawn
Together by magnetic forces
Too strong to pull apart. You
Would need more magnets.
This is what life is like.
Dark Thought was looking for
Agent Sapphire in a way, he
Gazed behind his backbone and
Thought what if he was
Right on the money.
Dark Thought opened the door
To a party. There was loud music
Playing and the TV glowed
Down. It was hanging from the
Ceiling and it cast a loud hum of light
On Dark Thought’s head. He
Walked through the grease. Boys
Were wrestling over there in the
Swimming pool. A camping stove
Was on. Dark Thought smelled the propane.
Dark Thought saw a hole
In the ceiling. He pinched the
Moon with his fingers. The
Moon went out behind them.
Someone check the water meter
Someone said. I can’t get the
Water going and I need to
Clean myself. There was a
Small dog dancing around too
From person to person and
He had a shaved patch on
His belly and a surgical scar.
Sincerity was spinning around in the
Corner, bumping up against
The walls, phasing in and out of them.
She was phasing too, her hair was
Changing colors. This is what
Life is like. She asked Dark
Thought what he was made for.
They split a caffeine pill.
Gaming was on the TV, shooting
And yelling. Last time it was
Spring and crocuses were
Blooming in the yard. Sincerity was a
Stasis punk, with no Sever. She
Had a leather glove with nodes and a
Chair with nodes. Dark Thought and
Sincerity made like lost art and
Got lost.
In the suburbs Scared Agent Sapphire
Traced the path of a thought until it
Landed, until he heard a ding.
The thought went off. Agent
Sapphire had a realistic
Depiction of a panic attack.
God is always watching you.
Pictures of the desecration site
Cascaded into Agent Sapphire’s
Palm, quiet as a thought. His
Fingers trembled as he
Read it. He clipped it. There
Comes a point where
You start to know what something
Is about.
The pictures hadn’t happened yet. A
Note too. My world is a
Weapon. It cracks and smokes
Lesser ones. It takes worlds
Away. It sets and unsets. LOL.
What do you do when you know
You are marked?
Honestly there were nodes
Everywhere. It was nothing. New
Zoo animals and new skin colors, the
Sidewalks still cracked and
The planet warped with fat heat.
One day the net would be crumpled and
Restrung.
There were people dying elsewhere
Too. There were people who thought
Humans were meant to live in
This heat.
Agent Sapphire was stepping on the lawn.
The world was around him. The
Thing about the world nowadays
Is that God was always watching you.
There are nodes everywhere and
You can’t even see them through
A microscope. It was hard to
Know everything. Agent Sapphire
Looked into the camera.
Wendy Coral on the case.
Wendy Coral was walking
Around and thinking of when
There would be a new
Schema. She was this many
Years old. Good god, there was
Food on her hands. She was learning
Way too much way too fast.
The responsibility was bumping up
Against her and all she could
Do was walk slowly around it
And not startle it. There were
Things to do I guess. Ways to
Play on the sidewalk with a can
Or a rope. She was so smart too,
With a lot of talents.
Coral on the case. She smiled.
When you are told a million
Things you need to learn how
To learn nothing. She was looking
For something on the sidewalk
To kick.
Wendy Coral was tethered to a
400 square foot area, including her
House, two feet areas around her
House, and her front yard and a
Strip of sidewalk. I’d have to
Do the math. She had parental
Controls.
Shrug harder, hipster tick.
Dark Thought went slacker
Mode. We were such rebels before
The system got us he said. He
Looked into Sincerity. She had
Girlfriend eyes. They phased
Into each other and then cauterized
After. Sitting in the car, chittering
To each other. He put his hood up.
Life is ink. Shrug harder.
Dark Thought was sensitive
Like this. He asked are we
In love. Sincerity said I think so.
Dark Thought felt everything in
Every direction. It was a rare peak
Into the dialogue between Dark
Thought and Sincerity. It wasn’t
Sublingual vocalizations chitters
Or grunts. Dark Thought looked
Into the camera and smiled with teeth.
Sincerity looked into the camera
Too. She smiled for the camera.
Dark Thought went evil. It was
Fun to summon something like that in
This day and age. He
Twisted his invisible mustache until
It became visible.
Can you avoid culpability?
Wendy Coral ambled into the
Street. A ray of light landed on her
Arm, then another one. Then one more
Brighter ray of light. Dark Thought and
Sincerity literally hit Wendy Coral
With their car accidentally. They even
Knew it was going to happen
And couldn’t do anything. No
One can do anything sometimes.
What does one do in a situation like this?
Wendy Coral was first splayed on
The windshield, then she rolled backwards
Onto the hood of the car then into
The hot street. Sincerity cried, then
Dark Thought made her cry using only
His words. She was the one driving.
Dark Thought asked could we
Reconstitute her. She was seizing,
The border had activated in a
Violent way, worse by her
Rolling. Medical had been
Alerted. Wendy Coral’s
Teeth were chattering in the light.
A bird was slipping from
Wire to wire. God is
Always watching you. The
Moon is
Interchangeable with
Another moon.
Please you freak I need everything.
Spreading liquid around on
Tar. It is used in road-making and for
Coating and preserving timber.
When are you ever on the
Side of the road like this. The
Medical alert beacon was waving
In no wind at all. Be More Chill,
Dark Thought was like.
This is some roadblock, he was like
Then. This is something we can
Fix. How, Sincerity said. In that
Moment Dark Thought felt that she
Was like her name. I have equipment
He said. In the trunk he actually had
A chef. This girl is literally bleeding
Out on the side of the road which
Is fine these days. Dark Thought
Was stoned from the gore. Like, ok.
Llamas running through a mall. Cows
Jumping off a boat into baby blue
Water. A horse running to breakcore.
Then a deep breath. Ok, you’ll be
Watching the sky while I do this. Dark
Thought scooped Miss Coral up and
Laid her back on the car. A gamer
Walked by, looking up. White
Dots in his eyes.
Cueing the chef would take a
Little bit of time, but they had that.
The neighborhood was
Too cooked for anyone to
Bear witness like that. Dark Thought
Prayed to his coked out Armani god. Please
You freak I need everything.
Take me back to the land of the living.
That was a cute way of
Thinking about things. This was
Not palliative care. It was
Funny that it took the form of a
Chef, and the chef’s voice, but
Would that work?
The top notes of the chef were
Sandalwood, cedar, amberwood, and
Coriander and it was impossible
To get a word in edgewise with him. He kept
Talking. Dark Thought thought that
In three minutes his world would be
Screaming upside down and his
Voice would break. Sincerity would
Not stop screaming because of
What happened.
Your voice needs subtitles, he
Could barely understand his instructions
To plug which wire into
Which node and which tube from
The box in the car into Wendy Coral’s
Young white mouth. He had
Never uncrushed the chef before
And was struck by his real life vibe.
Dark Thought said another prayer. He
Was a little stitious.
Wendy Coral’s health was going
Down at first, and then it reached
A point where it would stand still. It
Would stand still for a number of
Seconds then dance around like something
Was waiting to happen.
Sincerity crawled out of the
Car on hands and knees and did
Her stretches. She crow posed on
Her forehead on the
Pavement, it got in her
Hair and the air sucked the
Smell out of the tar and into
Her nose. Dance around, the
Chef said. It was looking at everyone.
The chef, in his neuteredness,
Leaned down over the dead
Girl and lifted her head up. He had
Red, blue, and yellow dots in his
Eyes and his chef whites were
Perfectly clean. He breathed nothing
Into her mouth as the tubes pulsed
And jiggled her. She came all the way
Back to life.
In this world we broke, Wendy
Coral came up for air and she
Now had red, blue, and yellow dots
Too.
Wendy Coral becomes a hard-hitting journalist and detective.
When wendy coral woke up there was a doctor a lawyer and a scientist and she was told to pick one. She liked the doctor because there was kindness in his white hair. The lawyer had a suit and looked very busy.
The first words Wendy Coral
Said to our friends at the dash were
Now I have no idea what just
Happened but dearest I feel
Wonderful so I wanted to say thank you. And
Then she said Now I have three
Questions to ask you. One: (and at
This point Dark Thought was tapping
His foot. Sincerity has climbed out
Of her yogic structure and into a
Standing position). Did I die and
Come back? Two: did you kill me?
Three: can you please please please (and
Then she was like a child) take me
Away from here.
Wendy Coral asked why she felt
Different. Teehee, brave and strong
Dark Thought and Sincerity were the
Shyest on earth and Dark Thought
Mumbled it out that it was probably
The drugs. You won’t feel like this way
Forever probably. The world will leave
You hanging.
The chef folded himself up and
Dark Thought put it back into the
Trunk of the car. It slid back in place. He
Wasn’t supposed to have that, obviously.
That tech is serene, Wendy Coral said. How
Does a hipster like you have a
Chef in the trunk of your car.
You need to know that there is
Violence in this day and age, but there
Is also life. And there is quiet. And
There are still birds and dolphins.
Wendy Coral gets the fuck into the car.
It shouldn’t have even been called a
Chopper at this point, it had a blue
Ring at the top that helped it fly, but there
It was above them. It sent a ray
Of fine white light filled with little dots
Down onto our friends. Now
This is a good time for Wendy Coral
To get the fuck into the car and
For Dark Thought and Sincerity to
Follow her. The chef probably cleaned
Her, Dark Thought said. We
Can’t leave her here. That would be
Just wrong.
Dark Thought had never met a baby
Before, he didn’t remember where he
Was born because at that point he was
Just a baby.
This is called my fear.
In this world it was hipsters
Versus gamers, there
Was a guy playing with fire
On the median strip and they saw
There was one box of black
T shirts up for grabs. The light
The sun made filtered through to
The ground and the light we
Make filtered back.
This is called my fear, Dark Thought
Said to Wendy Coral. She nodded and
Held her palm to her chin, she
Positioned herself thoughtfully. Dark
Thought opened the box that his
Fear was in and it glowed. It was
Mall Ninja Monday and he looked
So good in the sun.
We throw them away when we
Get to the next town, Sincerity
Chimed in and Dark Thought nodded. Then
He nodded to the music. Wendy
Coral smiled in that inept way
You can picture and
Asked can I have a gun or
Something. She had red
Hair and a white collar.
Wendy Coral bounced around
Like it was the past.
When Wendy Coral saw Dark Thought’s
Fear something turned on. A light
Went on in her head. His fear had sharpness
To it. But at the same time his
Fear had rounded corners. Its
physical dimensions were
Dictated first by the human body.
Everything was starting to
Separate. Specificity was
Blooming. Tourists had new smaller
Things to look forward to.
What if the fragmenting stopped? What
If everything could start to
Become the same again?
Sincerity when Dark Thought is planning to blow up the Apple Store or whatever
Dark Thought made Wendy
Coral laugh. He put dog ears over his
Regular ears. Wendy Coral laughed. That’s
Dog music to my big ears, he said.
On to the next town. The space
Between the towns had the
Air out of it, in some ways
It was a sprawl. In the same way
That a desert is a sprawl of sand.
You can’t think about it that
Way. It was night and the heat broke. They
Had been driving for a million years
They left the car at the city start.
The three walked forward into the
Radiant night. It was a city just like the
One we live in.
The city we live in.
There is a city that we all
Live in. It pushes and pulls at
Its limits. You could not traverse
It without screaming. In the
Bowl of three great hills it
Yelled itself into existence. Ice
And water vomited all over its
Netizens daily. In a moment of a
Brief detente.
Dark Thought fixed himself into
One of its pockets. A daytime
Candle that radiated darkness.
He kept his eyes behind him. He
Was seasick from smoking as
The heights washed over him.
Art from the pixels of the windows. He was
Asleep in a bed of stones and water.
-- Bernard Cohen is an author based in New York City. He co-edits the online publication Charm School with his friend Vivi Hayes.